The title says it all - and its evidently bugging me that I can't sleep at 2:30 in the morning. The clash of hope, joy, fear, worrying is playing out through my head. Filled with what ifs - and to be clear not pertaining to my exams but more important things in life.
The good comes with great cheer and satisfaction that the little pending sign has disappeared. Today has been a day where all my letters of acceptances have finally arrived - except for Queen's Kinesiology but none the less. At the start of the process it wasn't at all grim, I knew for sure I'd be accepted into my safety schools, my attainable schools and didn't hope to much for my reach programs. It all comes with a price tag. That program that I've been thinking about for 3 years now has been confirmed. I yelled and got random stares but it comes with the excitement. So it is official I'm going to be a Con-Eddie of 2015, furthermore it's the shocking surprise that in my Con-Eddie class there are only 100 other students and in my specific program 39 in science? It has come to be a great relief, well rather not relief but like a token of hard work that has been finally paid off. The times where I wondered what if I really got in and vice versa will be played out next year.
There are a great decisions to be made, from residence and especially courses. IB will do me good, if I pass with 5s in my HLs as per expected by all my teachers - that's 18 credits. It'll be an exciting year this coming year, with the start of a practicum of 10 days after my first education course, being a sci geek, FROSH week. Everything is simply in store.
It really then goes with all the excitement the clash of all this. There has always been this innate ability for me to sense the vibe everyone gives off - with the exception when I'm majorly off my norm. Today was one of those days were it was sensing that something went down the wrong path and there is the obscurity in the air. If you were to ask me how I know these things - I really don't know - gut feeling? how people express themselves? tonality? how they walk? emotions? The situation was really two fold; I'm assuming the stress accumulating from the upcoming due dates of the great ToK essay and the fact that majority of the class is struggling at the moment to produce a draft due at the end of the week. The other part was rather explicit once the whole idea came up.
Rather wracking with emotions for someone who has been evidently suffering acute pain for an extended period of time. It's not sympathy pains. But seeing the person going through what they have to. It's rather admirable that rather than screwing work off, she's there although sometimes not desiring to be but here. The cards dealt onto the table were to fix her broken-ness soon in surgery. It goes without saying that anyone going through surgery is a scary one. I wouldn't even imagine the intense emotions that float through their minds - but already as a bystander and friend its nerve wracking,
The emotions are evidently mixed. Everyday continues to be unpredictable and even when you believe that it will just be deemed another boring day of school, everything can change. We fight and conquer the battles that arise in our daily live.
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